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1#
、一条警犬看到马路上过来一条普通狗,就气势凶凶地跑去质问它:我是警犬,你是什么东西?普通狗不屑一顾地看看它说:蠢货,看清楚点,老子是便衣!  

    2、我有一个要求:请我吃饭。我希望你能满足我。否则我就把你的手机号写在墙上,前边再加两个字:办证。还要请我吃好,要不就写:征婚,男女皆可,条件不限。  

    3、食人族父子打猎,其子擒一瘦子,其父曰:放,没肉!其子又擒一胖子,其父曰:放,太腻!其子又擒一美女,其父曰:带回家,晚上把你妈吃了!  

    4、 一天咱俩到一口许愿井旁,我弯下腰许了个愿还望井里扔了个硬币,你也想许愿, 但你弯腰时不小心翻入井里,我被惊呆了,喃喃自语道:还真灵嘿!  

    5、你我都是单翼的天使,唯有彼此拥抱才能展翅飞翔。我来到世上就是为了寻找你,千辛万苦找到你后却发现:T M D !咱俩的翅膀是一顺边的!  

    6、四岁的男孩亲了三岁的女孩一口,女孩对男孩说:你亲了我可要对我负责啊。男孩成熟地拍了拍女孩的肩膀,笑着说:你放心,我们又不是一两岁的小孩子了!  

    7、深夜布什看到拉登站立在自己床前,批头散发,布什大惊说:你好大胆,敢夜闯白宫!拉登甩了甩齐胸的胡子,阴森地笑了,说:飘柔,就是这样自信!  

    8、猴子拣到一个卡,它想看清楚是啥卡,就爬到树枝上看,这时一个雷击中了它。猴子哭着说:原来是IP卡啊!  

    9、郑喜定的媳妇不见丈夫,便到公公家去找。见公公洗脸,便问道:爹,喜定呢?公公不悦,继续洗脸。媳妇生气,又问:爹,郑喜定呢?公公大怒:洗脸!  

    10、一个消化不良的病人向医生抱怨:我近来很不正常,吃什么拉什么,吃黄瓜拉黄瓜,吃西瓜拉西瓜,怎样才能恢复正常呢?医生沉默片刻,那你只能吃屎了。  

    11、老鼠:我现在正和蝙蝠谈恋爱,以后孩子们就生活在空中,不怕你们猫了。猫冷笑一声,指着树上的猫头鹰说:看见没有,她已经怀上我的孩子了!  

    12、狼入侵,小动物成立敢死队对抗。螳螂:我有双刀。刺猬:我满身都是暗器。天牛边晃触角边唱:哼!我有双节棍双节棍!哼哼哈哈!  

    13、自然课老师问:为什么人死后身体是冷的?没人回答。老师又问:没人知道吗?这时,有个同学站起来说:那是因为心静自然凉。
[upload=jpg]Upload/20049201404535581.jpg[/upload]
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2#

喜欢第九条。
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3#

第九条只要是中国人都看得懂,相反老外到不一定明白是什么意思。
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4#

搞笑笑
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5#

但第九条不是每个中国人都看的懂的,呵呵...
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6#

再休闲一下吧!这文章是别人传给我的,给大家参考!
Subject: A story~希望与你分享这个故事
A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5-year old son waiting for him at the door.
一位爸爸下班回到家很晚了,很累并有点烦, 发现他五岁的儿子靠在门旁等他.
"daddy, may I ask you a question?"
"爸,我可以问你一个问题吗?"
"yeah sure, what is it?" replied the man.
"当然可以,什么问题?" 父亲回答
"daddy, how much do you make an hour?"
"爸,你一小时可以赚多少钱?"
"that's none of your business. why do you ask such a thing?"the mansaidangrily.
"这与你无关,你为什么问这个问题?" 父亲生气的说着
"I just want to know. please tell me, how much do youmake an hour?"pleaded the little boy.
"我只是想要知道, 请告诉我, 你一小时赚多少钱?" 小孩哀求着
"if you must know, I make $20 an hour."
"假如你一定要知道的话, 我一小时赚20块美金 "
"oh," the little boy replied, with his head down. looking up, he said,
"喔" 小孩低着头这样回答着. 小孩说
"daddy, may I please borrow $10?"
"爹地, 可以借我10块美金吗?"
the father was furious,"if the only reason you asked that is so you can borrow some money to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. think about why you are being so selfish.I work long hard hours everyday and don't have time for such this childish behavior."
父亲发怒了.
"如果你问这问题只是要借钱去买毫无意义的玩具或东西的话,给我回到你的房间并上床.好好想想为什么你会那么自私.""我每天长时间辛苦工作着,没时间和你玩小孩子的游戏."
The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door.
小孩安静地回自己房并关上门.
The man sat down and started to get even angrier about the little boy'squestions.
这位父亲坐下来还对小孩的问题生气
how dare he ask such questions only to get some money?
他怎么敢只为了钱而问这种问题?
After about an hour or so, the man had calmed down, and started to think
约一小时后, 他平静下来了, 开始想着
he may have been a little hard on his son.
他可能对孩子太凶了
maybe there was something he really needed to buy with that $10 and he really didn't ask for money very often.
或许他应该用那10块钱美金买小孩真正想要的, 让他不用常常要钱
the man went to the door of the little boy's room and opened the door.
父亲走小孩的房门并打开门
"are you asleep, son?" he asked.
"你睡了吗孩子?" 他问着
"no daddy, I'm awake," replied the boy.
"爸,还没,我还醒着." 小孩回答着
"I've been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier," said the man,
"我想过了,我刚刚可能对你太凶了"父亲说着
"it's been a long day and I took out my aggravation on you. here's the $10 you asked for."
"我将今天的闷气都爆发出来了. 这是你要的10块钱美金"
The little boy sat straight up, smiling. "oh, thank you daddy!" he yelled.
小孩笑着坐直了起来, "爹地,谢谢你" 小孩叫着
then, reaching under his pillow he pulled out some crumpled up bills.
接着小孩从枕头下拿出一些被弄皱了的钞票
The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again.
这父亲看到小孩已经有钱了,快要再次发脾气
the little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at his father.
这小孩慢慢地算着钱,接着看着他的爸爸
"why do you want more money if you already have some?" the father grumbled.
"为什么你已经有钱了还要要更多?" 父亲生气的说着
"because I didn't have enough, but now I do," the little boy replied.
"因为我之前不够,但我现在足够了"小孩回答
"daddy, I have $20 now. can I buy an hour of your time? please come home early tomorrow. I would like to have dinner with you"~~~~~~~~~
"爸,我现在有20块钱了. 我可以向你买一个小 时的时间吗? 明天请早一点回家我想 和你一起吃晚餐."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~*******~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ share this story with someone you like....but even better, share $20 worth of time with someone you love.
将这个故事与你所喜欢的人分享,但更重要的,与你所爱的人分享这价值20块美金的时间
its just a short reminder to all of you working so hard in life.
这只是提醒辛苦工作的各位
we should not let time slip through our fingers without having spent some time with those who really matter to us, those close to our hearts.
我们不应该不花一点时间来陪那些在乎我们,关心我们的人而让时间从手指间溜走
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